The music performance DSL

playSong {
  
  # nobody I know (definitely not my band!!!) 
  # but nevertheless inspired by everyone who
  # says "isn't it weird that there are so 
  # many musicians in tech?"
  
  goodByePorkPieHat (musicians:[horn => trumpetGuywWhoWalkedIn, 
                  keys => joeslick, 
                  bass => ralphieboing, 
                  drums => loudAndFast]) {
    players = musicians
  
    play { -> song
      
      [players[drums] countUsIn(
         withFeeling => true, noRushing => please, 
         softerThisTime => true)]
      [song playHead]
      [song solo [soloPattern => hornSolo()]]
      [song solo [soloPattern => keySolo()]]
      [song solo [soloPattern => bassSolo()]]
      [song solo [soloPattern => drumSolo()]]
      [song playHead]
      [players.each | m -> m.stopPlayingIfYouCatchMyDrift]      
    }     
  }
  
  hornSolo() {
    with players[horn] as horn {
      [players[horn] startOff reallyStrong]
      [horn getLouder]
      [horn loseSheetMusic]
      [horn blowGumIntoMouthPieceAndThenRemove]
      [horn playRandomSoloOutOfKey]
      [horn lookAround]
      [horn stopSolo]
      [horn waitForTopofFigureThenStartComping]
  }
  
  keySolo() {
    with players[keys] as keys {
      [keys justStartPlayingTheHeadToSpain]
      [keys lookAroundRealizeItsNotThatSong]
      [keys startPlayingAnotherTuneMaybeMisty]
      [keys playInWrongTimeSignature]
      [keys getBackOnTrack]
      [keys handSoloToBassGuyItsHisTurn]
      [keys startComping]
  }
  
  bassSolo() {
    with players[bass] as bass {
      [bass startThumping]
      [bass youCantDoAnyWrongJustKeepThumping]
      [bass letsTakeItAround5Times]
      [bass heyWhereDidEveryoneGo]
      [bass stopPlayingAndGlareAtDrummer]
    }
  }
  
  drumSolo() {
    with players[drums] as drummer {
      [drummer whatAreYouKiddingItsABalad]
      [drummer playLoudlyAndInappropriately]
      [drummer lookForLeverToSwingRiser]
      if [riserDoesntSwingWeAintInAMetalBand] else [youRockMan]
      [drummer justStartPlayingSomethingWithBrushes]
      [drummer dropBrushesGlareAtHornPlayer]     
    }
  }
}