So, I sit here thinking about what I’ve done with photography in the last ten years. I’ve gone from a simple point and shoot digital (the Casio QV-11), through a collection of those, to DSLRs, to the Leica, to now. In between I’ve messed with 35mm, medium and large-format film cameras too, working with black and white developers, scanners, etc…
Now we’re all scraping to get by, and I’ve got an EOS 5D and a Leica M8 staring me in the face every day. I think about people who have nothing, who have lost jobs, who have to sell their equipment just to pay rent, and feel both lucky and embarrassed. What could I have done with all of that money, instead of purchasing new equipment? In some ways, photography is a disease, and I’m not going to cover any new ground in admitting that. And lately, I’ve been shooting less and less, and trying to figure out a way to catalog the 50,000 images on my hard drives.
A long time ago, someone I worked for heard I was into photography, and saw my addiction. He said that he was a nasty person when he got obsessed with his Leicas, and eventually gave them up. He looked at me like he was pitying me for being so obsessed, and for not realizing that there was a world on the other side of the rangefinder.
Maybe there is, and maybe I should step away for a while. I’m not sure. I noticed lately I’m less concerned with “covering the whole range” than taking one or maybe two lenses somewhere and working with them. But there is part of me that says “wait… maybe I should be more prepared” and gets OCD about body and lens selection, etc… That part is rapidly fading, but it’s still there.
So I guess the existential question is: what is the right way for me to approach photography, and avoid the crazy obsession? Maybe I should sell the Leica gear, but then I wouldn’t have a pocket option with as much power. Maybe I should sell the DSLR, but then I couldn’t do all of the things I can’t do with the Leica. Or, maybe I should just try to make some money from all of this equipment and profit from the experience.
Anyone else struggling with these issues? I’d love to hear you. Post a comment!
